Lessons Earned

A few days ago, I was embracing some quiet time by listening to my Pandora station (search: Norah Jones Radio), and I found myself listening carefully to the lyrics of a song I had never heard before. In all honesty, the song was a bit much in the sappy department, but it was my misinterpretation of one of the lines that got me thinking.

The artist sang about life and "lessons learned" (standard phrase), but I heard it as "lessons earned".

We've all encountered the concept of "lessons learned"--those times in our lives when we came out with a new understanding after an undesired experience.

But what if instead of seeing life's lessons as those we have to endure, we saw them, instead, as lessons we have earned? Rather than a difficult journey I feel I was forced to venture through, what if this was a time in my life when I earned the opportunity to absorb these lessons?

A recent tragedy rocked the normalcy in my family's life, and this lyric misinterpretation resonated with me more than I ever thought it would. It left me questioning why some of us are offered the opportunity to gain lessons from life while others seem to be robbed of them.

I became sensitive to the notion that maybe none of us deserves to earn helpful lessons along the path of life, but that it is up to each of us to decide at what level we will interpret, apply, and ultimately, appreciate these lessons.

I love the idea of living in the moment, but sometimes I find myself trying so hard to carpe diem that I overwhelm myself with attaining an expectation of perfection that doesn't exist. It's exhausting to live each day with a carpe diem scale, consistently evaluating where you are at any given time. Well, I'm at the befuddled, squiggly face now, so I need to do something to get myself up to the teeth-bearing happy face...

No, I think instead of seizing the day, I'll simply experience it. Instead of regretting or doubting or taking things for granted, I'll reflect.


Iyanla Vanzant advises:

"Adopt an attitude of flexibility. If there's an emotion to cultivate to guarantee success, it's the ability to change your approach. Throughout your life, there will be situations you won't be able to control. Your ability to be flexible in your rules, the meaning you attach to things, and your actions will determine your long-term success or failure, not to mention your level of personal joy."

I can grasp the idea of flexibility. Flexibility means I don't need--and never will have--the answers. It means living each day open and aware. It means that I can encounter challenges that will inevitably lead to lessons, and that I have the ability to decide what, if anything, I do with those lessons.

Maybe I didn't misinterpret that lyric. Maybe it was my flexibility in observing the world around me that allowed me the opportunity to earn that lesson.

Regardless of where I am or where I want to be, I always rest in this idea:

"Who you were, who you are, and who you will be are three different people."

I relish the idea that I am never fixed or final. If I'm open to what life has to share with me, my past doesn't have to haunt me, my present doesn't have to be perfect, and I will always become who I am supposed to be.

Here's to earning lessons along the way,

Kristy