One Word FINAL POST: Sunday, May 24th

Date: Sunday, May 24th

Days until May 26th: 2

My word: Capable


Can you believe it's week six?!

From the beginning when life was unpredictable and we struggled to find a sliver of normal, to today, where businesses are starting to open up, and yet, we're still asking ourselves how many levels of PPE we think we'll need... if we dare to venture out, the past six weeks have been nothing short of an anomaly.

For me, these blog posts have helped me keep a narrow focus, especially when life was swirling around me. I was able to anchor back to my word, "capable", and continually ask myself what that meant for me and what it would feel like to say that I felt more capable on May 26th.

I can honestly say that I feel more confident in what "capable" means to me, how I attain that feeling, and where I need to continue to give the majority of my attention--within.

I've learned that capability doesn't have a 'one size fits all' definition, but I do know that how capable you feel is directly tied to the place where your confidence/ affirmation/ approval comes from.

If you consistently look outside of yourself for assurance, then you will become wrapped up in a vicious cycle:

1. Feel incapable 
2. Seek outside approval
3. Gain temporary confidence
4. Temporary confidence starts to slip
5. See #1 and start over, assuring yourself that the result will be different next time

On the other hand, if you consistently look within for that assurance, then you will find that you can actually break that cycle. It's not that #1 or #4 don't rear their ugly heads, we're all human after all, but I think it becomes less of a cycle and more of a path that will never look the same twice:

• Feel incapable
• Seek internal approval
• Reflect on what you've learned in your life to this point
• Find affirmation in who you are & grow a little more in solidifying your identity

The next time you begin to feel incapable, it won't feel the same nor as severe, because you have grown each time you've traveled this path of inner reflection.

Each time we check our capability against our own inner truth, I imagine it like a tree that's gaining rings--we're growing in experiences and adapting, while still remaining the same tree. Whereas, when we our capability against external sources, it's as though we chop the tree down every time we find ourselves caught in the cycle--believing that a newer and better tree is more valuable than one that has learned how to weather the storms.

I hope you've enjoyed this journey as much as I have. I have appreciated the motivation to check back every Sunday with some new thoughts and to hear how you're connecting on your own separate but similar path. 

Life isn't completely "back to normal", but as I shared above, I'm learning that routines, while predictable, don't allow us to grow. We need challenges that push us to step beyond our comfort zones so that we learn to listen to the only voice that knows what really matters: our own.

Here's to tall trees, deep roots, and rings to show that we took risks in order to truly live,

Kristy