One Word Update: Sunday, April 26th

Date: Sunday, April 26th

Days until May 26th: 30


My word: Capable


Last week, I just tried to understand my word, and now I'm wondering when and why we would ever not feel capable? And for that matter, why do some people feel so much more capable than others when, at the core, we're all only human?

Recently, I started reading Glennon Doyle's new book Untamed, and like her previous two books, I was easily able to make so many connections to my own life--especially with this word.

This time around, she grabbed a bunch of mini stories from her life, and in true Glennon fashion, she dug deeper into each experience to see what it had to teach her. One such story struck me, as I have been thinking more about why we feel incapable in the first place.

She speaks about her journey to trusting herself, and I immediately related it to my focus on feeling more "capable" at the end of this #SaferAtHome mandate:

"When I was a child, I felt what I needed to feel, and I followed my gut and I planned only from my imagination. I was wild until I was tamed by shame. ...Until I started deferring to others' advice instead of trusting my own intuition. Until I became convinced that my imagination was ridiculous and my desires were selfish. Until I surrendered myself to the cages of others' expectations, cultural mandates, and institutional allegiances. Until I buried who I was in order to become what I should be. I lost myself when I learned to please."

I read and reread that paragraph a number of times. And then the words I bolded here started to pop out at me like one of those cross-your-eyes, magic pictures... except that I can never see those darn things. (I'd work on a new analogy, but it's desperate times, and I'm already using up any reflective energy I have after days on end in sweatpants!)

Any who... look at how awful those words are! And those are the things that happen when I've felt "capable"...

And now I feel like I've found a better question: How do I measure if I'm capable or incapable?

• Social media?
• Parenting gurus?
• Professionals in my field?
• Comparison to others?

And even in those avenues, there is no right answer. Some may appear more confident, but haven't we all learned that we can't judge a book by its' cover?

I'm going to start focusing my attention less on when I feel capable but why I feel capable. I think this is going to help me understand how often I'm measuring my capability using my intuition versus some outside influence.

That's where I'm headed. How about you? Where are you along the path toward feeling your word in 30 days?

Important footnote: Choosing your word isn't like a tattoo--you can remove it and replace it with very little pain. Give yourself permission to shift to a new word if it fits you better. Just don't change your word because it's getting challenging--struggle & pain are meant to teach you something, so stick with it!

Here's to breaking out of cages we voluntarily entered,

Kristy