New Year. Same You.

As I watched my kids opening their gifts this Christmas, I sat back and thought over the whole gifting process. 

Every year, the fun begins with one question--"What do you want for Christmas?!"

Their eyes light up as they remember unwrapping surprises beneath the tree and the days of excitement playing with their new treasures.

Asking this question kicks off a whole series of events. 

Those of us who grew up unable to stream Christmas-themed shows at the very moment we thought of them will recall the commercials that interrupted those rare episodes. Commercials were our primary means for identifying what we wanted that season. 

The only other competitor for our attention was the department store catalogue that we circled feverishly every December--a far cry from the Amazon catalogue of toys that kids haven't seen in commercials (what are those?) let alone in an actual brick and mortar store!

Writing to Santa always follows this brainstorming session. As I listened to my own children write their letters this year, I realized how much they weren't influenced by advertisers and toy companies like I was as a child.

Here I was thinking they were missing out on action-packed commercials and annual catalogues that would lead them toward the gifts they "wanted", but instead, I found that my kids were talking in topics, not toys.

My five-year-old, especially, amazed me when he said things like, "I like to craft" and "I want to use my imagination." 

He was talking about who he is, not what he wants.

No one was blaring in his ear about the most popular toy or which game he 'needed' this Christmas, and I think this opened him up to singularly reflecting on how he spends his time and what makes him happiest.

Andrew's simple observations about himself made me think about how easy it is to lose this natural ability as we age. When we were kids, our identity was so simple, and we owned it with pride. We knew we were the best (insert the blank) in our family, neighborhood, or class, and we returned to that skill anytime we needed a confidence boost.

Though every year is unpredictable, heading into 2021 has added its own brand of mystery and fear. Rather than wasting our efforts on trying to control or predict what lies ahead, let's step out of the external world (mentally, since we already have physically), and shift our attention inward. Let's take the time to get quiet and reflect on what makes us who we are. What do you value? When do you feel most calm? What helps you to simplify your focus?

And once we've regained a true sense of who we are, let's proudly make choices that align with that identity. Kids can turn an identity into an actionable step like you wouldn't believe. Andrew was able to say he was an artist and then write 'paints' in his letter without giving it a second thought. What would that look like for us as adults? After we dig deep to reconnect with who we are, how could we use that to drive our... conversations? ...time? ...spending? ...lives?

The world has forced us inward for our safety. Maybe this is a metaphor for what we need to do emotionally as well.

Here's to a journey that doesn't require a single step,

Kristy