Season of Contradictions

Ugh. What is it with this time of year?

It seems that we head directly from the beautiful season of fall into the season of contradictions. Not winter. Contradictions.

What are the tell-tale signs of this "magical" season you ask? Let me lay them out for you:

• While stores encourage you to BUY BUY BUY because you deserve to treat yourself, they all simultaneously slap you at the checkout counter to donate your "excess" for those less fortunate. And then we wonder why so many of us struggle with the concept of guilt. I'm all for selfless giving, but guilt-ridden giving I have a problem with.

• It is dark. It is dark when I wake. It is dark when I come home. Something called the sun once existed, but it drops away during this God-forsaken season. 

• ...And when the sun does happen to make an appearance, its Siren call is just that, because as soon as you bound outside to enjoy the fresh air, frostbite inevitably sets in. Touché, Mr. Sun. Touché.

• At this most festive time of year, the holidays are supposed to simultaneously beget relaxation & Martha Stewart quality ambiance. Martha may have had an ankle monitor, but I have a toddler strapped to my ankle, a twenty pound 6-month-old in my arms, & a pie to get into the oven. It's not a "good thing", Martha. It's barely ok... Especially when the vino runs out.

All of this contradictory madness reminded me of a list of life's contradictions written by Brene' Brown. (primarily for the female gender). In her book I Thought it Was Just Me, she highlighted some of these unfortunate expectations:

• Don't make people feel uncomfortable, but be honest. 
• Don’t sound self-righteous, but sound confident.
• Sound informed and educated, but not like a know-it-all.
• Sound committed, but not too reactionary.
• Don’t seem too passionate, but don’t come off as too dispassionate.
• Don’t get too emotional, but don’t be too detached.

Frus.Trat.Ing.

Sad, but true, these contradictions are a constant in life just as those formerly listed creep in on their annual cycle.

I guess the silver lining lies in knowing that the season of contradictions is fleeting; however, Brene' Brown leaves me wondering what to do when life pokes and prods with its eternal contradictions.

I'm not even going to pretend to have the answer to this query. I just find it helpful to sit in the "hot loneliness" as Pema Chodron infamously said.

And even more infamously, the character Sadness on Inside Out showed that even Pixar gave its stamp of approval on wallowing a bit rather than always looking for the joy in situations:

So please join me in loneliness as we share in a bit of wallowing, a touch of complaining, a smidge of deep breathing, and an extra helping of grace. 

Here's to contradicting contradictions,

Kristy


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