Reflection, Not Resolutions

 

Raise your hand if you've ever attempted to make a change in your life and failed. Keep your hand raised if one or more of those attempts were made in the month of January...

A new year gives us the feeling of renewal and reset, which can be a very positive experience. And yet, society has intertwined this beautiful sense of freedom with the expectation that we have to undergo major transformation if we want to start our new year off "right".

I've used the butterfly's transformation as an example in my writing in the past, and New Year's seems to be one of the best examples we have of how unnatural our expectations are. 

Celebrating selflessness in December only to expect yourself to perfect self-care in January is like the caterpillar thinking about the cocoon and suddenly--poof!--becoming the butterfly!

Why do we put ourselves through the stress of these unrealistic expectations?!

Resolutions fail in January because we never enter the cocoon to set ourselves up for transformation. We expect instant transformation and can't imagine why we don't stick to that new workout routine after only two weeks.

It's not our will power that fails us; it's our shallow resolutions that ensure our failure.

This is why I am reframing the month of January: Reflection not Resolutions.

Research has proven that if we want to change specific behaviors & routines in our lives, we have to align many, many variables. The more personalized the goal, the better our chance of success. So why do we think we'll have the best success by making drastic changes at the exact same time of the year as literally EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD?!

I get it--we find strength in numbers, and so we believe that if society around us is determined to accomplish something new (and all of deals & discounts are available at this time) then we, too, can accomplish our own!

But which came first--the deals & discounts telling you to buy, buy, buy or the internal urge to make a transformation?

For me, it's often the former, not the latter.

We don't make sustainable change in our lives when our surroundings are easy. Sustainable change comes from the quietest, weakest, and often most challenging moments in each of our lives when we feel that the pain of staying the same is far more painful than the potential pain it will take us to change.

Change is personal, and it happens in one or two ways:

1. When we aren't expecting it.

2. When we feel something so deeply personal that we can't help but commit to a consistent change in practice.

Every Monday in January, I want to coach us toward that second way. And if you trust the process without expectation, you might find that #1 sneaks up on you as well.

If we want authentic change, we have to back up a few steps and figure out what our most authentic needs truly are. Not the surface ones we tell ourselves and definitely not the one that is trending on magazine headlines. The deep, true, and honest ones that only rise up when we Get Quiet and distance ourselves from the world. The ones that are buried down deep because of fear, guilt, or any other emotion that keeps us from living our most authentic lives.

To mine those feelings, join us for Mindful Mondays throughout the month of January, and give yourself permission to Reflect without Resolutions.

I will demonstrate strategies that you can engage with live or bookmark for later in the day when you make quiet time. Either way, you will walk away with a single, simple practice.

Have a copy of Decision Permission? Have it nearby--I'll make connections to specific pages to help you continue your journey beyond the video.

Don't have one/ need one? No worries! My hope is that these Mondays motivate you to find something--Decision Permission or otherwise--that can support you to continue on your journey in 2022. Copies are available at Lorancopia in downtown Racine, Wink Beauty Boutique in Pleasant Prairie, and on Amazon for those who want to dig deeper.

Just show up and see what happens. It can't be worse than your failed resolutions, right?!

Because I contend that if you truly believed that your past resolutions were essential in your life, nothing would have stopped your progress. Nothing. 

Stay tuned on my Instagram and Facebook pages: @KJKristyJean and checkout my website: www.kjkristyjean.com for updates.

Bonus: Anyone who views & comments on the videos will be entered to win prizes!!

Here's to Reflection that lead to Results,

Kristy Jean