My Sorry Diet

Webster's Dictionary defines the word "sorry" as the following:

1. Feeling sorrow, regret, or penitence (showing regret for doing something wrong)

2. Mournful, sad

3. Inspiring sorrow, pity, scorn, or ridicule: pitiful


I've never read a dictionary entry that grew more depressing the further I read! Those are powerful words carrying heavy emotions: sorrow, regret, mournful, scorn, pitiful.

If this one word is so clearly meant for rare and genuinely unfortunate circumstances, then WHY does it come out of our mouths so regularly?

Does the definition above capture what we mean when we use this word? 

Yesterday, I said "I'm sorry" to a friend who was struggling with hardships in life, and I later offered the same statement when I had to push a scheduled lunch back 30 minutes.

Today alone, I said "I'm sorry" to a man I accidentally cut off as I was walking into CVS, and then I later stated the same phrase to my four-year-old when I realized that the new probiotic I bought him ended up working too well...

I am guilty of using this word on a regular basis for a spectrum of incidents, and it's made me wonder: have we 'watered down' the true meaning of "I'm sorry"?


Being the word-lover that I am, instead of changing the meaning of the term to meet my own needs, I've decided to make the effort to reclaim this word's original identity.

So, in this new year, I am making it my resolution to begin using this word correctly and stop using it when it is not necessary.

To get started, I did some research and found a lot of confirmation that women are most inclined to substitute "I'm sorry" in a variety of circumstances--especially out of anxiousness and/or fear of being seen as impolite.

In my reading, I stumbled across this article. It provides several statements to be used in place of  "I'm sorry" so that we can be sure to articulate what we actually intend:

Instead of "I'm sorry"...

• Excuse me.
• Pardon me.
• Go ahead.
• After you.
• Your turn.

Instead of "I'm sorry" to interrupt...

• I'd like to add...
• I have an idea...
• I'd like to expand on that...

Instead of apologizing every time you make basic, human mistakes...

• Thank you for catching that...
• I appreciate you bringing this error to my attention.
• Thanks for flagging this issue for me.

Instead of saying "I'm sorry" when you're running a little late...

• Thank you for waiting for me.

My biggest takeaway? When I overuse "I'm sorry", it begins to lose its value for both myself and the person I'm saying it to.

Whereas, if I replace the majority of my "sorry's" with expressions of gratitude, I can simultaneously acknowledge the person I am speaking with while also saving such an important statement for more appropriate occasions.

In 2020, I'm not going to quit cold turkey, but I am going to become more aware of the "sorry's" I dole out and how many of them actually align with my intentions.

Maybe we can all cut a few "sorry's" out of our verbal diets and grow to respect the value those words should carry when we use them.

Here's to saying what we mean and meaning what we say,

Kristy