Daring Greatly

Writing has been an outlet for me since my high school days ala black notebook with gel pens. If you are judging me right now, it's because you never fully experienced the joy of a 30 pack of gel pens from Sam's Club. I'm getting excited just thinking about the possibility that they still sell them... I need to find someone with a membership...

At some point, probably in college, writing became more of a requirement than a mental purge. Followed up by becoming an English teacher, writing became something I've helped others use for their own creative outlet. Somewhere in that mix, I stopped allowing writing to be a priority because that all too elusive word--"productive"--came into my life & made me feel guilty if I wasn't folding laundry while catching up on the dvr while reading a book while replying to texts while solving the worlds problems...

Well, I'm setting the excuses aside & embracing the mentality of my two-year-old---"now, Mama!"

A lot of this passion has resurfaced due to some inspiring people I've stumbled upon & whose books I have read. My obsession with the quick pace & 'productive' lifestyle rears its ugly head once in a while, but reading works by these people has guided me toward a more reflective, slower-paced approach that I hope to share through this blog. I'll also be sure to share the people and their works that have been so influential.

One such person is Brene' Brown. She is a researcher turned writer turned life-changer who is helping to change the world one insecurity at a time. She's spitting in the face of every politically correct response we use in our day-to-day lives and giving advice for living truly and honestly.

I'm currently reading her book Daring Greatly. The primary theme I've grasped thus far is that vulnerability does not equal weakness. Let me state that again since I read it several times over: vulnerability does NOT equal weakness. Are you sure???

When I read this I started flipping through my life roles in my mind & seeing how this applies in every, EVERY aspect of life. As a woman. As a wife. As a mom. As a teacher. As a friend. As a Christian. Wow.

I thought of every time I've reached out to a family member or friend and immediately apologized for my vulnerability. I thought of every time I've tried to excuse my worries as a byproduct of my gender, raising, or environment. Opening up and being vulnerable has never resulted in something devastating, and yet, it's a knee-jerk reaction to avoid it.

Lately I've been trying to simmer in the vulnerable moments one baby step at a time. The moments when I could easily ignore the human beings around me by immersing myself in my phone, like I have something important to do, are my first target. This blog has become the second.

I'm starting to see that even the smallest of moments, when experienced as knee-jerk reactions aren't really experienced. It's like I'm an actor reading my lines or following the stage directions. That sounds like work. I don't like doing work. I'd much rather just be my honest self & let the chips fall where they may fall.

Vulnerability. It's uncomfortable, but things that turn out to be worth the discomfort always are. Thanks, Brene Brown.

Kristy

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